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PROMOTION AT ANY COST Algernon had been seeking promotion in the War Office. He had finally received his invitation to the diplomatic dinner, and was determined to make the most of it. On spying a beautiful girl, he immediately took the seat next to her and poured them both generous drinks. They were soon giggling away so he slipped his hand under the table and caressed her knee. As there was no reaction, his hand moved higher to the edge of her silky panties. He smiled as she passed over a note. Don’t give the game away when you reach my balls. Berkley, MI5.


SID’S PLACE As usual Sid’s was buzzing. The dance floor was full of wall to wall girls all dancing to the Motown beat. On arrival, I always stood just inside the door taking my time looking at so many beauties in one place and making mental notes of any that caught my eye. Looking back I realise that the girls played the same game; the semi-concealed glance, the quick smile and the flash of soft eyes were all designed as a come-on. At the time I didn’t realise just how good my chat up lines were, for it was rare not to take a girl home. I had put it down to a dose of good luck but now I see that my simple method had real meaning to the young ladies. If I fancied a girl, I told her how good s


CHRISTMAS CAROLS WITH GRAN “Gran wants me to sing at her Christmas party, mum.” “What’s wrong with that, Thomas? You’ve got a great voice.” “So what? I sing Indie Rock not Christmas Carols.” “It would mean so much to Granny Davis, and anyway I’ve told her you’re going.” “Bloody hell, mum, thanks for nothing.” I hate being told what to do but I can’t get out of this one. Maybe I can persuade Danny and Jimbo to come along, at least then we’ll have two guitarists and a drummer. ~ “Tommo, this is worse than a museum, all these people are slower than dummies.” Jimbo always stated the obvious but this time, it is worse than that. There must be over a hundred oldies in this hall and I’d never seen


Someone Special This Way Comes Twas the night before Christmas, and all on the farm, were eating their food, and staying quite calm. But it changed in a trice, as a star sparkled high, and with it the laughter, and the promised mince pie. The cows started playing, the dung ball game, then the sheep joined in, and followed the same. The hens were cackling, as they pecked at some bits, when the sparrows arrived, with the long tailed tits. The bull snorted loudly, a deep throaty tune, whilst the others looked up, at the swift fading moon. The dancing began, as the snowflakes fell, and the big nanny goat, did ring out her bell. They frolicked and laughed, as one they did play, no thoughts of tom


CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES TODAY - Pull one and I guarantee you'll groan. Ho!Ho!Ho! What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? Auld Fang Syne. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had a low elf-esteem. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson. Why was the turkey in the rock group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks. What do you call a line of men waiting for a Christmas haircut? A barberqueue. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose. A man walks into a bar... ouch. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?


CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS 1. Yesterday is definitely gone and tomorrow never comes. So why not start at Christmas time and have a great today, and every single day for the rest of your life? 2. If you have Christmas in your heart you’ll put Christmas in the air 3. Nothing shouts Christmas louder than a big juicy turkey. 4. It is the one season when we can put away our fears, rekindle our childhood and have FUN! 5. Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and their parents pay for it.HO!HO!HO! 6. Christmas Day can hold all time together, when you’ve with your family. 7. At the Christmas party, you might get away with naked photos from the photocopier, but the shredder? 8. If Christm


HORNY LOVE He loves me, he loves me knot - not. Damn! My endy-bits are so cold I can’t even type, and it’s his fault. How could he ignore me? Why can’t he feel the passion that’s building up inside? I’ve had enough of his games, so this is his last chance. Understand my feelings, or face the consequences my dearest, but if my words fail to persuade you, I’ll unleash my sharp tongue. Right! It’s time for me to finish my letter. ‘My dearest, I love you, but you cannot play with my feelings any longer. I must warn you Prancer that you won’t be looking at that dewy eyed reindeer, Dasher, once my antlers remove your reindeer bits. They’ll be dragging snow my little love-deer. Love you lots. Vixen


Happy December everyone. Would you like a brand new and free book released today? Well it’s simple. Here is the promised competition, and what a cracker of a prize. A highly talented group of authors got together and produced a collection of unique short stories – including two tales from me. Entitled, Octomorphosis, the collection is based on the fantastic paintings of Jon Everitt – unrealist. I’ve attached a picture of the book cover. This book has not been released on any internet site. All you have to do is click contact above, and enter your reasons in the box as to why you should receive the book. Simples. The closing date will be the 31st of December. I’ll declare the winner in Januar


Christmas Thoughts 2016 1. Yesterday is definitely gone and tomorrow never comes. So why not start at Christmas time and have a great today, and every single day for the rest of your life?


I've just finished the 'Fragility of Poppies' by Carol Westron and it's a very good read. Here is my review. The plot revolves around a married duo, Annie, and senior CID officer, Rick. Both have serious issues and at times it’s hard to see their marriage surviving. And when Rick is ordered to lead an investigation into the disappearance of another girl, his state of mind deteriorates even further as memories of the past threaten to overwhelm him. Each chapter is written from the point of view of Annie or Rick, and it works. The characters are believable and the pace - just the way I like it – rushes along as if the pages are turning themselves. I took the book to read in bed, thinking tha

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