THE POSTULATING PENGUIN BY FRANCES COOPER & RICK HAYNES

THE POSTULATING PENGUIN by Frances Cooper & Rick Haynes

“I don’t know who you are, or where you came from, get off my sofa, penguin.”

“Hi, my names, Kevin, but you can call me Kev.” He introduces himself as an ice-breaker. Since promoting a well-known chocolate biscuit, life had been tough for penguins. He was hoping things would pick up.

“This is a no calling zone, and that means no COLD calling.”

“Have you considered installing Polar Energy, Mrs?”

“Mrs Greenaway to you, and no, I’m not into anything new, I just want to finish my bowl of Frosties.”

“Can I interest you in our latest range of igg-loo, you only have to flush once a week.”

“It’s snow-good, I can’t afford it, so you must leave, now.”

“But believe me, the price is so reasonable, you couldn’t get a better deal anywhere.” Kev passes over a price list.

“What! That much?”

Kev writes another lower figure on the paper. He sees a brief smile on Mrs Greenaway’s face.

“We aren’t poles apart here, are we?”

“I can see that you’re fishing for a deal, trying to stitch me up like a kipper, but my answer is no, go sell your polar wares elsewhere.” She turned away, giving the penguin the cold shoulder.

Kev walks off disappointed. He throws an icy stare over his shoulder as he munches on an old haddock.