THREE LITTLE WORDS

October 26, 2017

FREE SEX AND CHOCOLATE

 

 

Sitting down is easy. Writing is the difficult bit, and making a living nearly impossible, yet we plough on with our passion and enjoy what we do.

From a readers perspective they have an endless choice of books to choose. From hardbacks to paperbacks and discounted EBooks they can take their time before making a decision. And let’s not forget the dreaded words that crop up again and again. I was told that most successful adverts had one of the following – sex, chocolate or freeeeeeeeeeee. I hate free. Many authors love it, and all readers adore the word, but it’s not for me.

I once thought about writing a book with the title - Free Sex and Chocolate. I had no idea whatsoever about the content, or how I would promote it. But when a couple of my closest writing lady friends suggested that it might not be such a good idea, as readers may ask where they can obtain the free sex, I binned it. Close your eyes and imagine the dreaded emails, the comments on your blog and the furore on FB. It’s not worth the hassle.

Yuk! I’d hate all that baggage, as all I want to do is write.

So this leaves me with chocolate.

I’d kiss the person who invented chocolate on both cheeks. In fact, I’d kiss anyone on both cheeks who gives me chocolate. Me? Addicted? Of course not, but then I am keeping both hands behind my back with my fingers crossed. I love chocolate, both milk and dark, but strangely not the white stuff. I remember Easter time as a kid, and all those lovely eggs covered in layers of the sweet stuff that I adored, and my sister that took one of mine by mistake. I think it took me ten years to forgive her.

You now know that the ad-men promise you much success if you use the words, free, sex, and chocolate, so here’s how it panned out for me.

 

Free?

 

It didn’t work, as with so many downloads I received about 1% reviews, and even then I doubted that some of the 1% had actually read my book.

 

 

Sex?

 

I write fantasy and short stories in different genres where sex can play a part but it’s miniscule in the overall context of my work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/CHOCOLATE-CHUNKS-CRAZY-CRETE-Haynes-ebook/dp/B01M7WRPSF/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

 

And chocolate? 

 

I wrote Chocolate Chunks From Crazy Crete for a number of reasons.

 

1. My Cretan friends asked me to tell their tales.

2. They are zany, crazy and completely bonkers at times, and I wanted readers to know what they were capable of. Did I say funny as well?

3. If you’re reading a collection of tales, you have your favourite drink to keep you going, and often reach for something to nibble on. It has to be chocolate, well for me anyway, and that’s why the lovely girl on the cover of Chocolate Chunks is surrounded by oodles of the stuff.

If one of the three words has worked for you, then I’m pleased, but I’ll write what I love, and naturally, have fun along the way.

 

I hope that you enjoyed my tongue-in-cheek ramblings, folks, and thanks for reading.

 

I’m famished now.

 

Anyone got a bar of chocolate handy?

 

 

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