RICK HAYNES

CHRISTMAS CAPERS by Rick Haynes A Teller Of Tales Twas the month before tomorrow, the land crisp and uneven. Rudolph, the red-nosed idiot, oh dear, was playing a tune on the bells around his neck. Father Twitmass was nowhere to be seen, his sacks, full of partridges instead of toys, were already torn. Sending out a pong of poo, the colourful birds were laughing, their cries of come and join us, ignored. The snow fell. The geese took flight, their honking drowning out the blac

RICK IS A Teller Of Tales 3 Old age pensioners were sitting in the village hall, talking about anything; what to do next. Jack says. 'It's Monday. Tom answers. ' No, it's Thursday.' Bill chips in. 'I don't care what day it is so, let's go down to the pub.' Soon after their wives walk in. 'Where the hell have you been?'they shout. Their husbands smile and together they say. ' You for coffee ladies.' Three slaps around their faces and everyone in the pub couldn't stop laughing.