RICK HAYNES

CHRISTMAS CAPERS by Rick Haynes A Teller Of Tales Twas the month before tomorrow, the land crisp and uneven. Rudolph, the red-nosed idiot, oh dear, was playing a tune on the bells around his neck. Father Twitmass was nowhere to be seen, his sacks, full of partridges instead of toys, were already torn. Sending out a pong of poo, the colourful birds were laughing, their cries of come and join us, ignored. The snow fell. The geese took flight, their honking drowning out the blac

RICK IS A Teller Of Tales 3 Old age pensioners were sitting in the village hall, talking about anything; what to do next. Jack says. 'It's Monday. Tom answers. ' No, it's Thursday.' Bill chips in. 'I don't care what day it is so, let's go down to the pub.' Soon after their wives walk in. 'Where the hell have you been?'they shout. Their husbands smile and together they say. ' You for coffee ladies.' Three slaps around their faces and everyone in the pub couldn't stop laughing.

75? NOT OUT If your laughter lines are anything to go by, you’ve had a great fun-filled life, most of the time. Better still, you...

Ode To Idioms From the sign on the bus stop You could see just underneath, I could catch the 49, by the skin of my teeth, And so it was I...

There are many ways to write something, albeit short tales or novels. But where do you start? Yes, I was once in that conundrum so here...

PUSSY POWER b y Rick Haynes Toby, the ginger tom, sat on the window sill. He looked despondently at his human. Once again his bowl had...