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THE TROUBLE WITH DOGS by FIRLE LEWIS

This week, I am delighted to showcase the work of the highly talented Firle Lewes. You are going to love this. Doggy Doos & Doggy Don'ts (The Trouble with Dogs...) I can honestly say, the trouble with dogs - Is that they’re madder than a box of frogs. They chase their tails and beg for a treat - Are always sick when they overeat. They never wash and have big fleas And never, ever, can say ‘please'. They growl and bark and scratch their fur – Those awful smelly canine cur. They don't know how to walk alone, And soon get lost when on their own. They get locked out and scratch the doors Then bring in dirt, don't wipe their paws. I've never seen them climb a tree, Well, actually, not as fast as

FUN TIME

What time is it? Fun time of course. Here is a selection, collected over many, many years from the archives. MAYBE THIS DID HAPPEN Walking back to my car, I slipped on a piece of wet plastic and fell down in to a puddle. A lady in a silver Mercedes drew up. 'Are you okay?' 'I think so. Thanks for asking.' 'That's good. You won't be needing your parking space then.' YOU CAN SEE THIS HAPPENING Two old dogs are off the lead. Their owners walking some way behind. Telling his mate to wait, the first walks over to a large oak tree. He sniffs as he slowly walks around the trunk. 'What are you doing?' Asks the 2nd dog. 'Just checking my messages.' A GOOD FRIEND TOLD ME THIS WAS TRUE My wife was expe

Oldy-Woldy English Jokes? Maybe? Maybe Not?

What is Right and what is Wrong? Mrs Harrison, a primary school mistress, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "Now then children, let's look at an example," she said. "If I were to put my hand into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Tommy, instantly raises his hand and grins. "You'd be his wife." Classic English Jokes Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired. What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50? A genius. They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he g

DESTINY IS ALL

Destiny Is All by Rick Haynes ‘Too old to live. Too young to know any better. And in between far too many people thinking only of themselves. Man's desire to rush headlong into destruction is nothing new, yet the pace is quickening. The seas are rising, the air polluted and the global population is growing. Too many mouths to feed, too many trees and forests destroyed. Oblivion beckons. The end is nigh. Only the foolhardy believe the race of man will overcome and repair the damage. Is there a saviour? Will humans finally take notice? Or will destiny strike us down for being too greedy, too selfish, and too late in reversing the utter chaos of our own making?' Mr Franks gave his most fearful

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