BLOOPERS ARE BACK

After scouring the web for suitable material that will make you enjoy a giggle or three, here they are.

VARIOUS BLOOPERS

SCHWEPPES TOILET WATER - ITALIAN TRANSLATION OF SCHWEPPES TONIC WATER

DENMARK AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE - WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS

IN A TOYO BAR - SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS

IN A USA DENTAL PRACTICE - WE DO OUR BUISINESS IN YOUR MOUTH

CANADA SIGN - GRAVE YARD NEEDS YOU - APPLY NOW

IN A BED SHOP - FREE ONE NIGHT STAND

AT A US RAILWAY STATION - BEWARE! TO TOUCH THESE WIRES IS INSTANT DEATH. ANYONE FOUND DOING SO WILL BE PROSECUTED

CLOSING DOWN - THANKS TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS.

ON A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE

IN AN OFFICE BLOCK - PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS LIFT WHEN IT ISN'T WORKING

BLOOPERS 2 - I WISH I HADN'T SAID THAT

STEVEN WEBB, BRITISH POLITICIAN - PENSIONERS WERE NOT BORN YESTERDAY

I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT IF YOU SCORE ONE GOAL, THE OTHER TEAM HAVE TO SCORE TWO - HOWARD WILKINSON

MURRAY WALKER - EITHER THAT CAR IS STATIONARY OR IT'S ON THE MOVE

BLOOPERS 3

They say that every piece of chocolate shortens your life by two minutes so I added everything up and made an unwanted discovery - It would seem I died in 1600

Whatever next. - After a weekend of panic buying, the UK adds brain cells to its growing list of shortages.

Calories? These tiny creatures live in your wardrobes and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Success? A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. Whilst a successful woman is one who can find such a man.

BIBS AND BOBS

Why do cows never have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry!

Mail hippo to his mate. 'You look like you're gaining weight.'

'Oh really! How very hippo-critical of you.'

In the shops. “I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.”

AND FINALLY

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

A GOOD GIGGLE WILL ALWAYS GIVE YOU A SMILE

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LOVE AND LAUGHTER

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rickhaynesauthor.com

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