TUESDAY TALES

This week is fun and laughter time.

If these jokes don't make you giggle, nothing will.

Love and laughter everyone.

Wife to partner. ‘You would be a good dancer except for two things.’ ‘What two things?’ asks her husband. ‘Your feet.’

A man goes to the doctor. 'Doc, wherever I touch, it hurts.' 'What do you mean?' 'When I touch my shoulder, it hurts. If I touch my knee, I scream, and when I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.' 'I’m not surprised; you've broken your finger.'

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for nearly half an hour before finally hanging up. 'That was short,' said her father, 'you usually talk for two hours. What happened?' 'Wrong number,' replied the girl.

Helvetica and Calibri walk into a bar.

‘Get out, we don’t serve your type in here,' shouted the barman.

Boom! Boom!

‘I, was born in London,’ the smart dressed man stated haughtily.

'Which part?’ the young girl asked shyly.

'All of me, you idiot.’

‘Okay kids, tell me how your helped your mother today.’

‘I dried the dishes, ’his son replied smugly. ‘And I picked up all the pieces,’ his sister retorted.

Man talking to his god. ‘Please tell me why you made women so beautiful.’ ‘So that you will love them, my son.’ ‘But why did you make them so stupid? ‘How else would they love you?’

And finally.

Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe? He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.