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No Rabbit Will Be Eaten Today by Rick Haynes

This tale was published in the June issue - 2019 - of The Chania Post.

I looked out from my burrow. The scent of fresh greenery wafted into my nostrils and I salivated. Yet, another stronger scent arrived and automatically I stepped back. Not again.

Why are humans so smelly? My faeces are small, harden quickly, and leave barely a trace of my scent. Human muck attracts loads of flies in summer and really stinks.

I lifted my head up. Deciding which way the stench was coming from, I ran off in the opposite direction. Not far away, the grass was wet and juicy. It was nice but only a taster for the main course a hop and a jump away.

Seeing that my recently dug hole was intact, I burrowed away some loose soil and pushed myself under the fence. Looking around, I sniffed, twitched and saw nothing. Well, that is, apart from the rows and rows of cabbages, lettuce and my favourite of all vegetables, carrots.

As per usual, I prevaricated. With so many scents assaulting my nostrils at the same time, and no other animal around to steal my food, I had no need to rush. With my mind made up, I hopped over to the bed of lettuce and munched away. If there is rabbit heaven this place must be a supermarket for all bunnies before they pass away; to run without fear in the rabbit kingdom of Thumper, the God of all rabbits.

Partially stuffed, it was time to enjoy the main course. Digging up juicy carrots was easy as the recently watered soil was still damp. I ate my fill. Another of my kin arrived. With so many of them, I could never remember who was who. I pointed my front paw in the direction of more carrots and off he went. My stomach told me I’d eaten more than enough and for once, it was sending me the right message. With other bunnies arriving, I left my tribe to themselves and made my way back.

The sound of a gun made me cower under a dense bush for my warren was some way away. With my heart hammering in my chest, I stayed still. The sound of silence was only broken by the leaves in the bush dancing around me. Eventually, all was quiet. I scurried back to my burrow and finally relaxed.

‘And that’s my story little ones. You don’t have to be too smart to better humans. They are quite stupid really. Just think of Old Tom. He was cornered by a cat, the girl-woman scolded the cat, picked up Old Tom, gave him loads of fresh food and let him go.’

‘Any questions?”

With none of them answering he knew the young ones were restless, ready to leave. Old Tom automatically sniffed the air.

‘Now off to bed, no … Wait!

What is that strange smell?’

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