Do you like a good laugh? Of course you do so read on and enjoy yourself.
Good morning all.
After feeling so poorly - I hurt my back big-time - and then we caught the dreaded Covid, it was time for a little laughter. Digging around I found some memorable quotes and I thought you'd like to join in the fun. So here goes.
I guarantee those speaking the following words wished they had kept their mouths firmly shut.
KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT 1
Michael Aspel the broadcaster. 'You don't see many red squirrels since they became extinct.' What? What? What? John Baird, Canadian politician. 'Mr Speaker, let us replace darkness with light, and let us replace accountability with corruption.' Really! Would you trust this man?
David Beckham. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' What a twat!
And finally, Adam Boulton, Sky news presenter. 'Eyewitnesses were on the scene in minutes.' Methinks he needs new glasses!
KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT 2 Mozart is celebrating the 200th anniversary of his death. Derek Jameson, broadcaster. Err. I don't think so.
Sporting Lisbon football club, in their green and white hoops, are looking like a team of Zebras. Peter Jones, sports broadcaster. Colour blind? Definitely!
The City of YORK is already a city, as is my own city of Hull is a city, and that I think is the definition of city and town. John Prescott, British politician. Never trust a politician, especially one talking such rubbish. Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald Reagan, US President. Definitely an optimist. I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that clear. George Romney, US businessman. Now that's as clear as mud. I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country. Ian Rush, Liverpool footballer. Oh really! More giggles coming soon. Do leave a comment or two. Cheers, Rick.
KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT 3 And now I post another round of - did they really say that? It's time for more giggles so read on folks. There are kids out there who'd chop their legs off to play football for Brighton. Robbie Savage,
football pundit. WHAT? Is he mad? Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Brooke Shields, actress. Mistress of the bleeding obvious.
I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one and that includes me. Jessica Simpson, singer. Is she really that stupid? Zoos provide a very useful breeding ground for extinct species. Lowri Turner, broadcaster. Perhaps she needs to return to school? There's nothing wrong with the car except that it's on fire. Murray Walker, motor racing commentator. OOPS! Now that is a big blooper. I have the thermometer in my mouth and I'm listening to it all the time. William Whitelaw, British politician. Let's hope he never chewed it. I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office. George W Bush. What a plonker.
You're probably the only news organisation in the world with reporters in Kabul. For news reporters, that's a position to die for. Andy Collier, broadcaster. A slip of the tongue costs lives; I wonder what he said later to appease those after his blood. MAN'S BEST FRIEND IS IN DANGER! Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog. Tails Pet Magazine. I do hope she never meant it.
If you've had a laugh do leave a comment. The more the merrier. Have a great giggling day folks. Rick.
KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT 4
And now I post another round of - did they really say that? It's time for more giggles so read on folks.
'Isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew" Harry Carpenter at the end of the 1977 University Boat Race. Oh really? Is that allowed in public?
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it himself." Ken Brown talks about the relationship between Nick Faldo and his caddy, Fanny Sunesson. She was always smiling and now we know why.
"All weekend I've been struggling with a nervous rear end." Jenson Button motor racing driver. Oops! Has anyone got a toilet tissue or two?
"Do you think all prisoners will regard you as a good screw?" Jack De Manio, radio broadcaster, BBC Today Programme, interviewing a newly appointed woman assistant governor at a men's prison. That's not nice, is it? I wonder if she sued him.
And now for something different. "Mmmm, what a beautiful pair of knockers," said Simon Groom, presenter on the BBC Blue Peter programme. He was innocently admiring two Durham Cathedral door ornaments. A blooper, but with a nice ring to it.
"The bowlers' Holding, the batsman's Willy." What a classic from the great commentator, Brian Johnson. It always brings out a giggle or three.
I hope my words bring a smile to your face. Do let me know what you think as I have many more. Have a great day. Rick.
P.S. If you do have some bloopers, do share them with everyone as a smile can quickly merge into a giggle and a good laugh.